I apologise for the title. This is not the place you will find the answer you were looking for on how to get over your ex.

I’m here to remind you who you were before your toxic relationship, how you were while living it and how you are now and where you are supposed to be. Before I begin with my story, let me tell you that when something ends, it was meant to end and if that person was for you, then why has your story ended?

Maybe it was his/her fault, maybe yours. All that matters now is that things like these happen all the time, even to people you don’t expect it to happen to, but when there is no love anymore and the excitement has gone, there’s nothing left to fight for.

I thought I met my other half two years ago. I went through a lot before I met him and I was so scared of getting into a relationship. But he seemed perfect. He took me out to beautiful dates and he always gave me flowers. He was perfect to me, and I fell so fast for him because he was exactly what I wanted. He was patient, gentle – stuff like that. Yet anyone is like that at the beginning of a romance because who doesn’t want to show the best version of themselves?

That’s the first mistake people make. They show themselves as someone fake instead of who they are to seduce people to them. However, while the weeks and months pass by, that person slowly changes. They get tired and start acting how they really are. That’s when you have to take a few steps back, for the sake of your relationship.

That’s when you start losing yourself. The person you’re with suddenly is someone you don’t know, and you are trying your best to bring the person you met back. But things won’t be the same – you can’t force someone to be that loving and respectful person they were at the beginning. You don’t control them. The only thing you can do is leave, just walk away from the second you notice the changes because you need to leave for your own sake.

Some relationships were not meant to be. Why? Because that’s life, people come and go, like my story – he told me we are forever and he made me think of our future and how things would be between us. He was the only man I wanted to marry, he was different. He was there for me all the time but he wouldn’t stop being a negative person and forcing me to do things i didn’t like just to make him happy. Because at that point of our relationship, he was everything for me, everything that mattered. When I realized that he cheated even if he said he didn’t that’s when i gave him a second chance, why? Because I had no self-confidence while I was next to him and he wouldn’t stop crying – NEVER, EVER trust someone who cries easily to change your opinion.

I lost myself when I forgave him not only once but many times. That’s when trust issues began and I thought I was sick. I thought that it was my fault and I was not the right girlfriend. Those thoughts wouldn’t leave me alone, in fact, i was suffering and everything I was doing, I was crying because I thought I was hurting him when in fact he did everything to hurt me and keep me by his side. I lost myself and I was no longer in love. Every time I was seeing his face I was like ‘Oh okay, another day with him’. I was empty and NO it was not my fault. And it’s not your fault for being in a toxic relationship, you are just too sensitive but you need to walk away and stop living in a chaos that the person next to you has created because is afraid of going out of his comfort zone – these type of people have no idea what love is. But all you need is love, right?

So, stop trying to find him/her through your pain. Try to find yourself and go back to the person that laughed and smiled to every chance without getting back into depression. Fight and find yourself like I’m doing and trust me, I went through a lot. Loving yourself and setting goals is what matters the most – never let anyone change who you are and what you have become so far. People come and go, the right ones will stay and fight for your trust. So, do you realize now that you deserve something more than a toxic relationship? Do you realize that if someone loves you it isn’t supposed to make you cry? Take your time, relax, breathe and go outside.

Put that smile on your face and thrive, I promise you that time heals everything, even the worse break up.

By Vivica Kaimakli

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